The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
