i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
