Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
