Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
