She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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