I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
