dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
