I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
This toilet bowl is my home.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
