Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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