Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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