Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize