I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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