I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
