I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
