She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
