You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
