Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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