i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
