I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
