So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
