perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
