Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
