Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Randomize
