dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
This house was built for laser tag.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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