He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
