Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
