you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
