Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
