Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
