just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Dicks are not precious.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
