i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
