Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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