Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
