ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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