Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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