you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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