My sheets look like a crime scene.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
