Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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