I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
