"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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