I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
