I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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