Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
