In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It's Friday. Sex?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
