That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
