i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
