Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
