Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
