its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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