I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
