I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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