The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
