After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
